It’s funny, once I have a focus my time suddenly disappears. Previously I felt like I was drifting in a big ocean in a small rowing boat with no sight of land in any direction. My days would drag and I would feel miserable.
These days I have a renewed energy as I strive to tick off all the things on my project plan, which will result in me leaving behind a job I no longer desire to do.
With this renewed energy however comes a new problem. An overactive brain. My brain won’t switch off, resulting in me gaining all of 2.5hours sleep last night.
My sleeplessness is partly related to the excitement behind the prospect of escaping my job but also the feeling generated when I am actually doing work I enjoy.
I suffer many emotional ups and downs in my job and it’s really driving me insane. Last week I had a roller coaster of a week. A project I had been trying to get off the ground for the past 3 months was finally gaining some traction. Hooray! I thought. Two days later the project ground to a massive halt (for some completely ridiculous reasons) which resulted in my boss and I withdrawing our budget from the delivery managers and pulling the plug.
I had finally lost the fight in me. It was a very sad state of affairs. The worse part being I felt it reflected really badly on me despite the fact I followed every single bureaucratic bit of red tape. I (along with a few others and a group of young people- target audience)wanted to make something amazing happen. We were so close, alas we were shot down. Needless to say I was brutally wounded in that battle.
Anyway, being the resilient individual that I am, I vowed to find another revolutionary project to work on. I am meant to be a product designer after all.
A colleague contacted me about a project she needed help getting off the ground. After some thought I realised how it could be mutually beneficial. To cut to the chase I’ve found a new project, in the confines of ‘work’, to get stuck into. Because I am interested, I work so much more efficiently and effectively. A renewed focus on delivery. With this comes my over active mind and the tendency to get carried away with ideas and plans, and general excitement.
An exciting project at work alongside my own super fantastic personal escape plan – can you imagine what my mind is like?
I shall add mindfulness to my list of things I need to be doing!